My Baby

I really didn't expect this.  Months ago, when Melissa was miserable and pregnant with horribly swollen ankles, we went daycare shopping.  We searched high and low and found one that would work.  I was feeling ok with it.  Luckily, through the joint efforts of Joe and Grandma, Aislinn has not yet entered the doors of a daycare.  

Well, the time is approaching when she will.  And suddenly, it's all different.  NO daycare is good enough.  NO person employed there can possibly care for her like her mom does, or I do, or her Grandma.  Things have totally changed.  As I sat here and called various centers asking about rates and hours and availability, I became angry.  It just shouldn't be this way.  The most precious things in our lives, our babies, are taken to daycares, where the workers are often without much training and paid horribly.  The CEO's out there living it up, are making millions.  But those entrusted with the most precious thing in the world are paid nothing.  And when you can't afford to pay well, we all know what quality of workers you get.   And I feel like I can say this because I work in childcare.  And I have for almost 10 years now.  I've been there.  I know what it's like.  I know what it's like day to day at a daycare.  People calling in sick. Directors frantically trying to cover all the classes.  Teachers getting frustrated.  Babies getting sick.  Babies crying for longer than they should.  And no. It's not like this all the time.  But even ONCE it too many.

I suddenly and urgently feel the need to quit my job and keep her from these places.  I was ok with it once.    It is COMPLETELY different now.  That was before.  Before I watched her take her first breath.  Before I heard her cry her first cry.  Before I saw her smile at me for the first time.  Before I KNEW her.   Before she stole my heart.

How can I justify going to work everyday to take care of babies, when my own niece is being taken care of by someone else?